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February 2004, Issue 9
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine! This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.” Do you remember that childhood song? Growing up, I sang this simple song at home and in Sunday school. At such a young age, I didn’t grasp its meaning, but now as an adult, the song seems to sing to me.
Now before I get ahead of myself, let me point something out. I recently went to see Dr. Maya Angelou at the Pepsi Center in Denver. As soon as she entered the stage, she broke out in song—this song—and her theme for the night’s talk was how we all have lights inside of us and we need to let our lights shine on others. She pointed out that we never really know how far and bright our lights may shine, but someone somewhere is looking to us to show them how to live. Thus, we need to live our best lives possible, for ourselves and for those looking to us.
I left inspired. I know two little people looking to me for an example are my daughters…and probably the most important thing I can do on this earth is to lead a life worthy of emulation by them. For me, this means living in the present everyday. I am often guilty of looking to the future, worrying about things I want to do, instead of cherishing and maximizing the here and now. I spend a decent amount of time frustrated with what I see to be slow progression toward my goals, but truly, I know that perseverance, not speed, is key to long-term success. I need to work hard, and maximize opportunities as they present, but I also need to enjoy life, every bit of it. My mother-in-law, Gayla, recently bought me a sign for my home that says, “It’s A Wonderful Life.” I hung the sign in the entry of my house, so every time I walk in, I am reminded to appreciate all the blessings I have been given and to enjoy my life just as it is. The joy is in the details.
Living my best life possible, and letting my light shine means stepping it up a notch in everyday living: Living with passion, energy, and vibrant health….cultivating my relationships, really listening, and being there…all the time. The following seems to sum it up for me:
Do more than exist: live.
Do more than touch: feel.
Do more than look: observe.
Do more than read: absorb.
Do more than hear: listen.
Do more than think: reflect.
Do more then just talk: say something.--Author Unknown
In order to “shine” most effectively, I think we must consistently polish our lights. This means not making life harder than it needs to be…letting go of the little stuff…stepping away from the negative and of course, taking time for ourselves. Even the brightest lights need to be turned off once in a while or else they burn out! Valentines Day is a perfect reminder to love yourself and treat yourself to something special.
I hope you enjoy this issue of The GIRLS Leter. It is filled with all kinds of stories, quotes and ideas. But, in the interest of the environment and the time it takes me to copy, fold, stuff, and stamp these babies, this is the last letter that will be mailed. Future issues will be on-line only, so go to the website at: www.thegirlsletter.com and subscribe to the newsletter. By subscribing, you’ll be notified of new newsletters, GIRLS events, and updates. Also, there is a wealth of information on the site not offered in the letter. Check it out. This month, I have added a few stories to the on-line newsletter that were not included in the mailer…another reason to log on. The website it is meant to be interactive, so the more GIRLS that are involved, the better it will be.
One last thing…I am always open to ideas, suggestions, and submissions for the letter. Please send them to me at: celeste@thegirlsletter.com. I can’t wait to hear from you!
With love and friendship,
Celeste PalermoPutting Off Till Tomorrow Robs Us of Today
By Sarah Smiley
Yesterday my friend asked me, “When will you be satisfied? At what point will it be enough? What weight? Which house? What dress size? What job?”
I was stunned. I had always thought myself to be someone who lives in the moment, but put to me this way, I realized at times I do suffer from a case of “I’ll do this when I get that.”
I’ll go interview for that job as soon as I lose ten more pounds. I’ll go back and get my masters as soon as my children need me less. I’ll learn to play golf when I have more money. I’ll start running again when the weather gets better.
Sound familiar? As military families I think we are especially prone to this type of thinking. Because we live in a constant state of limbo (waiting for new orders, the next move, Homecoming, etc.), it is easy to fall into the trap of putting off till tomorrow that which could make us happy today.
The problem with this waiting is that it robs us of the joy and potential we have right now, and it blinds us to the successes we have already made.
When I was a teenager I hated the way I looked. (Having two older brothers who teased me relentlessly didn’t help in the way of improving my self-esteem.) I begged my mom for a nose job because my brothers had always told me I inherited the “Thompson Nose,” which is a distinct nose passed down on my mother’s side. Seeing pictures of myself was torture; all I could see was how much I hated my nose. My mom, however, insisted I wait until I was eighteen to make the decision about surgery for myself.
I was surprised when I finally became “of age” that I no longer worried about my nose. When I was twenty I looked back at my old high school pictures and didn’t even notice my face. I just kept thinking, “Wow, I was in fabulous shape back then! I wish I still looked like that!” When I was sixteen it never occurred to me to quit focusing on my nose and realize that I was at a healthy weight, young, and vibrant.
I never got the surgery.
More recently, I took up photography. It’s something I’ve always wanted to learn but had pushed it into the pile of “things that will have to wait until ____.” I thought I needed more money or time. When I quit worrying about when to start doing photography, however, I realized I’ve been learning all along! While I was procrastinating photography classes I was teaching myself through books and the Internet. All my waiting for the right time kept me from seeing that I was, in fact, already a photographer.
On a more daily basis, I’ve come to realize how much I take my children and their youth for granted. Sometimes I get teary when I think about my oldest son starting kindergarten or when I see that he is growing up and no longer needs his favorite stuffed animal to go to sleep. I’m very aware that someday my children will grow up, leave home and start families of their own, so my desire is to savor every moment I have with them now. And yet, I cringe to think about how often I get short-tempered or irritated when they are slowing me down at the grocery store or making a mess in the kitchen. Aren’t these the moments I will someday treasure?
Yesterday my friend’s question sparked in me the opportunity to reevaluate my life and my priorities. I may never lose the last ten pounds of pregnancy weight, so if I put off that job interview until I can fit into my old jeans, I may be waiting a very long time. There is no guarantee of tomorrow, so I’d better start living right now.
This morning I took my boys to the post office. They were loud and rambunctious and I felt myself getting irritated. Walking back to the car it started to rain. The drops were coming down in sheets. I grabbed my son’s hand and started to run.
“No momma,” he said, “let’s walk in it.”
I looked at him standing there with the biggest grin on his face, so blissfully young and happy to be standing in the soaking rain and soggy socks and shoes. I realized this was one of those moments I would never forget and I didn’t want it to pass me by.
We walked to the car singing “Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head,” and watched as other people ran past us with their umbrellas.
Today I walked in the rain with my boys, and, finally, that was enough.Sarah Smiley is a Navy wife and mother of two young boys. Her syndicated column Shore Duty appears weekly in newspapers across the country. Visit her website at www.SarahSmiley.com
FitBits: "Heartful & Healthy"
By Amy & CarolThis is the time to treat your body with respect. It is the time to get enough rest. To fuel it with a variety of foods. And to keep up with your regular exercise program.
By mid-February many of us have already faltered in our “get fit in the new year” goals. Don’t give up! If we fail to exercise, we fail to nurture the most important factor in relieving everyday stress. Exercise helps your body reduce tension, and relieve mental and physical fatigue. Below are a few tips to give yourself the gift of a healthy heart for Valentine’s Day and all year long…• Sweat away stress. Exercise at the same time each day. Block off the time in your day planner, and keep the appointment as you would any other appointment. If you skip a day, get right back on track.
• Daily relaxation. Practice taking complete breaths and breathing with your belly. Take time to stretch and you will discover that as little as 5-15 minutes will make a dramatic difference in your stress level. Breathing and stretching brings more oxygenated blood to the heart and will reduce the sensation of anxiety during busy and stressful times.
• Eat a balanced diet and drink plenty of water. We all know we need to eat healthy and hydrate our bodies... Our body is our vehicle for life…keep it in top shape from the inside too!
• Mmmmm.....massage. Incorporate regular massage into your relaxation routine. It does wonders for your body and is a nurturing gift to yourself.
• Ask for the gift of health. Make a wish list to give to your friends and family (for your birthday, Mother’s day, etc.) to keep focused on your personal health. Ideas to ask for: a yoga mat, massage gift certificates, a treadmill, stationary bike, 5 sessions with a personal trainer, or a subscription to your favorite health magazine.Good luck. We wish you a wonderful healthy Valentines Day and 2004.
GIRL Talk
I have been working on a book for new moms. It is an “I’ve been there” and “you are not alone” type book. I share my own crazy and neurotic stories from what I have learned. Long story short, I hope to finish it by summer. Which leads me to my next book idea…GIRL Talk.
Here’s the deal. I am putting together a collection of stories from you GIRLS…Glorious, Intelligent, Radiant, Luscious Sisters…women that have words to share, stories to tell. And everyone has a story.
I am looking for stories in each of five categories: Friendship, Dating, Career, Marriage/Divorce, and Motherhood. I am looking for the best you have to offer…the funny, the crazy, the life changing…the lesson learned, the tough times, the trials. Write with the type of honesty you share with your best friend. Be daring. Share with the intent to impart wisdom, lift someone’s spirits, and make someone’s life better. In order to have mass-market appeal we have to be REAL, HONEST, and HAVE SOMETHING PEOPLE WANT TO READ ABOUT.
This is your chance to tell your story! To see your name in print! Don’t pass it up! I recently read about a group of friends that wrote a book about their crazy travel adventures. They self-published and sold 1,000 books in the first month or so and were immediately picked up by a major publishing house! I am confident this book will be a success as well…Be a part!
Anyone can submit a story, so encourage your family and friends to send an entry too— Send stories to: celeste@thegirlsletter.com. Edit and revise as much as possible and make sure you send your best work. Be concise, but do not leave out important details. I am looking forward to reading your story! Entries will be accepted until July 31, 2004.
Coach’s Corner
By: Cara TitcombCelebrate Your Uniqueness – Not Your Ordinary Giving Experience
I believe everyone wants to be a part of something. Everyone wants to contribute, to give back. Many of us realize the joy and strength that can come from helping others and being there when people need us. Sometimes, however, life gets in the way. How are you supposed to carve out time to volunteer when you already have a full plate? How can you have energy to give when you feel like you need to sleep for three days just to catch up on rest? There is so much to be done in the world, where could you even start?
To answer all of these questions, you must start with you. Take care of yourself, put your needs first, and make sure that you’re living a life that celebrates who you are as a unique individual. (You are a wonderfully unique individual!) Only then, when you recognize and nurture your personal gifts, can you truly offer them up to others in service.
Take a few minutes, make a cup of tea, and let your mind explore all the things that fuel your spirit. Your talents, your strengths, your hobbies. Write them all down. The focus is solely on you: What do you absolutely love to do? Who do you love to be?
As you look over your compilation of strengths, joys and wisdom, know that this is where to start. Giving is often focused only on money or time. Many of us feel that we have neither enough money nor enough time to really make a difference. But we do have our gifts, our talents, and the things that provide us joyful energy. We can give gleefully and graciously. If we are celebrating our uniqueness rather than giving because we “should” or because no one else volunteered, we will have much more to give.
Of course, it may take some creativity to figure out how your gifts help others and improve circumstances, but that’s the fun part too! Who would you like to help, support, or get to know better? (Know that you don’t have to help everyone at once!) What social causes ignite your flame? Love to cook and want to work with kids? Volunteer to teach a cooking workshop in your child’s class or at a local foster care facility. Love deep conversations and intelligent company? Start a conversation group among friends or soon-to-be-friends. (www.conversationcafe.org)
All you need is a spark of interest and a little creativity. To make this easier you can follow these directions: 1) Get two containers. 2) Write your joys, strengths, activities down on individual slips of paper and put them in one. 3) Write down the people and causes you want to help on individual slips of paper and put them in the other. 4) Now mix up the contents of each container. 5) Choose an item from each and come up with a way that they compliment each other, a fun way to give. 6) Make a list of your combinations and creations. 7) Start something. The possibilities are endless.
Does serving on that [insert possibly dry, administrative position] fuel your passion for giving? Does it fuel your passion for living? If it doesn’t, politely decline and do something that does. Giving back to your community and the world is a luxury that makes us stronger when we come from a place of joy. Give back by celebrating and developing your own uniqueness. It helps people recognize and celebrate theirs – a noble cause in its own right.
“Uniqueness needs to be celebrated…self-definition is very important. You define who you are by actions, by what you do with your life.” --Judith Jamison
GIRLS…Check out this letter. This is in response to the July 30th GIRLS event “Flowers and Food Fundraiser.” This will be an annual event and I hope to grow the party (and donations) each year! For those who participated…Thanks! For those who missed the event…I hope to see you May 1st! GIRLS, keep giving back—every little act and loving gesture all helps to make the world a better place!!
August 27, 2003
celeste@thegirlsletter.com:
Dear Ms. Palermo:
Thank you for the wonderful donation of $390.00
Your donation to The Women Build program represents a sincere commitment to our mission "moving children out of poverty housing."
Women Build is one of the fastest growing programs within Habitat for Humanity International. Our focus with the Women Build program is on children. Within the United States alone, more than 12 million children - almost 1 in 6 - live in poverty. An appalling statistic for one of the richest and most powerful nations in the world.
Women are, of course, naturally drawn to finding ways to help children and the Women Build program enables them to do just that - one house at a time. Last year, women crews built over 130 Habitat for Humanity houses. Women are jumping at the opportunity to actively demonstrate their determination to make a difference in the lives of children.If you would send us your address we would like to send you some copies of the Women Build newsletters which comes out quarterly. You can also download it from our website: www.womenbuild.com.
Once again, thank you for your wonderful donation.
Kindest regards,
Deborah Hawkins
Habitat for Humanity International
Women Build DepartmentGIRLS EVENTS
Feb 27th, Friday Night 7pm: Sangria and Swap: Time to clean out your closet! Bring all the treasures that you don’t use, don’t fit, etc. (We’re talking nice stuff…not your 8th grade peg pants.) Do you have perfume that isn’t quite your scent, jeans that are a bit too snug, or something you bought and never used? Bring it. Your discard may be someone else’s treasure. You can take what’s left home or I will donate it all to Goodwill. I will provide appetizers and sangria. You can bring a dessert to share, if you like! RSVP by 2-24.
April 7th, Wed night, 6pm: GIRLS Dinner and a movie: Stay tuned to the website for movie time, location, and the place to eat.
May 1st, Saturday 10am-1pm: 3rd Annual “Food and Flowers Fundraiser. Here’s the deal: We will have brunch, make a flower bouquet for “May Day” and raise $$ for charity. Please bring: a favorite flower vase, one dozen flowers (single variety) to share, and something for the brunch. You are also encouraged to bring a donation to “Women Build,” a division of Habitat for Humanity. (I’ll provide all the drinks, plates, silverware, scissors, ribbon, etc.) It’s sure to be a lot of fun, so invite a friend! Please RSVP by Wed. April 28th to me at: celeste@thegirlsletter.com.
GIRLS, it is soooo important to have time with your friends, time to relax, and time to renew. My girlfriend, Christa, her mother-in-law, and her sisters abscond to the Canyon Ranch Spa Resort every year in August. What an awesome idea! Why don’t you organize a trip for the GIRLS you love? Check out www.destinationspas.com for a listing of some of the best spa retreats in North America. On the site they have a link with promotions, special theme weeks, etc. We must be good to ourselves before we can be good to anyone else…plan your trip now!
Letting Our Light Shine
By Linda TitcombAs I write this for the Girls Letter, I am looking at a picture of my mother sitting with my older sister, Carol, and me on her lap. I reflect on how her mother, Edna, left Connecticut in 1925, to come to California with my grandfather, only seeing her parents and family once or twice after that time.
I am now a grandmother and am grateful for the gifts of love from my mother and grandmother—for the creative ways they “made a difference” for their families. The resolution of daily difficulties never seeming that grand, (my Mom hated the question, “What’s for dinner?”)—but it all mattered. Everything matters.
The other day I pulled some old dead-looking shrubs from the front of our home and planted some flower seeds. I faithfully watered them and soon they sprouted—very exciting! One day, I went out to check on their progress and discovered the gardener for the common areas had pulled them all up!
“You just pulled up all my flowers,” I told him.
“No,” he said. “Weeds.”
“No, flowers,” I replied.
“Oh, sorry.” He said remorsefully.
An honest mistake—an example of how easily good intentions can go awry. No reason to quit planting. Difficulties and disappointments are simply opportunities to reconsider our goals, values, priorities and strategies.
Letting our light shine is simply living life. Planting. Loving. Growing. Helping. Giving. Building. Whatever action verb works for you—it all counts, though you may never know the outcome. A thousand years from now it may result in a majestic redwood of accomplishment…and someone may cut it down to build a redwood fence. No matter. Just keep planting and replanting your gifts. They will grow. I am sure my mother and grandmother had no idea what would come of the “love seeds” they planted and nurtured.So shine! Each life is a mystery; a miracle of love and light.
Money Matters!**We do not have a Money Matters Column this issue, but in the spirit of the upcoming tax season, I thought I’d share this simplified tax form suggested by Stanton Delaplane:
“How much money did you make last year? Mail it in.”
Miscellaneous Money Chat…“I don’t want to live like The Millionaire Next Door,” says one of my friends.
“I want to die broke,” says my mom.
“We need to live our lives and have fun,” says my husband.
They all have a point. And the point is this: Give yourself permission to indulge once and awhile. Now, I’m not advocating unwise spending habits…we do need to save for reserves and retirement, but don’t always pass up something that adds to your life TODAY. Sometimes it is OK to splurge on that $12 martini, those $117 jeans, or a last minute tickets to New York. Think, if you were to die tomorrow, would you regret it? Save, but also live your life. Besides…like my mom says, you may as well die broke ‘cause you can’t take it with you.
Entertaining with Erika
By Erika WyrickThe following is one of the many ways to have fun this year, while also giving back: Host a cookie exchange. Here’s how: Invite your girlfriends over and have them each bring 3 dozen homemade cookies along with a new, unwrapped gift to donate to a children’s charity; you may also ask for a monetary donation, etc. Once everyone arrives, set the cookies out, buffet style and give everyone a Ziploc bag to take the cookies home.
*Fun idea: Have everyone email you their cookie recipe and make your guests a cookie cookbook!
Keep it simple. Host your party on a Sunday afternoon and serve light snacks such as: cheese and crackers, vegetable crudités with dip, mimosas and raspberry iced-tea.Heart Healthy Tuna Tacos
Eating fish is good for your heart and skin. This Valentines Day take care of your heart by making some tasty fish tacos!
My friend Heather recommended this recipe and I made them for the Superbowl. They are yummy!
Serve them with black beans and warm chips. (And maybe an ice-cold Corona with lime…)Marinade
(Per 1 and ½ pounds of tuna)
3 TBSP Tequila, Rum or Vodka
2 TBSP lime juice
2 tsp grated lime peel
1 piece minced ginger
2 cloves minced garlic
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
½ tsp ground cumin
¼ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp pepper
1 tsp oilPineapple Salsa
½ large fresh pineapple cut into chunks
½ medium red onion
¼-cup cilantro
1 TBSP lime juice
1 clove minced garlic
¼ tsp salt and pepper
1-3 tsp. minced jalapenosAfter marinating, grill tuna and slice for tacos. Place in corn or flour tortillas. Top with salsa. You could also set out some jack cheese and / or guacamole for the tacos and chips as well. Enjoy!
This and That….Recently, I went to New Orleans with some friends. The town is rich in history, music, and art. The visit inspired me to incorporate more art, music, and travel into my life…but where to start? There is so much to enjoy, so much to learn. This is a perfect opportunity to share with other GIRLS the things you enjoy. This month I challenge you all to log onto the website and “Share Your Voice” on the message board. Tell us about your favorite artist, musician, and/or book. Also, where is your favorite place to travel and why?
While you are on the website…SUBSCRIBE!! This is the LAST letter I will mail out…from now on The GIRLS Letter will be on-line only. Subscribing will also keep you updated for all GIRLS events and latest news! Also, check out the LINKS and WOMEN OWNED BUSINESSES. Submit your business link! Check out our new advertisers on the site…Also, please send me any ideas, recipes, and submissions for future GIRLS Letters at celeste@thegirlsletter.com.
Quick Quotes
I thought I would share a few phrases and quotes that I’ve collected in my notebook. These phrases and words talk to me; they keep me moving towards my best life, despite my slow progress at times. Perhaps they will whisper to you too…
“God can dream a greater dream for us than we can dream for ourselves.” --Oprah
“Live life with passion, compassion, humor, and some style.” --Maya Angelou
“Prepare your mind for action and get out of your comfort zone.” –Sarah Weddington
“We only have one life, but if we live it right, one is enough.” --from a billboard in Denver
“Laugh. Make an impact. Do what you have to, but also what you want to.” --Sarah Weddington
“But to find excellence in our own lives we must do the difficult things. We must be willing to encounter genius.” ---Lee Bollinger, President Columbia University
“Be bold. Expect more. Listen to the cosmos.” --Jennifer Louden
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” --John C. Maxwell
“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty well preserved body, but rather to skid broadside, thoroughly spent, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming—‘WOW! What a ride.’” --Author unknown, received over the internet
Closing thoughts…
Recently I was looking through the book “1001 ways to be romantic” by Gregory J.P. Godek and found this tidbit. Good advice for us all…
enjoy yourself
Express yourself
Reveal yourself
Share yourself
Know thyself
Love yourself
Develop yourself
Risk yourself
Be yourself
Love yourself!
“The Story of My Life”
By Celeste PalermoGrowing up, I jumped at the opportunity to fly co-pilot with my dad. As we skimmed through azure sky and marshmallow clouds, I would hold charts, help look for airplanes, and snore. With the sun shinning into the cockpit and the drone of the piston engines playing a familiar serenade, I would usually fall asleep by the time we reached cruise altitude.
“Dad, I want to learn to fly, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stay awake,” I confessed to my father one day.
“Oh,” he would laugh. “I used to sleep when flying with my dad, too. Once you have the controls, you’ll be fine.”
From a young age, I have desperately wanted to learn how to fly, to soar above the world on my own abilities. Still, I had doubts. I just was not sure I could do it. What if I took off and couldn’t land? What if I got lost and had to ask the air traffic controllers for help back to the airport? I had flown with my dad enough to know that female voices over the radio were sparse. “Why aren’t there more female pilots?” I wondered. Did they lack interest? Drive? Skill?When I was in eighth grade, my physical education teacher, a man I admired and respected, asked me about my future goals. Without hesitation I replied, “I want to be a pilot.” I smiled, knowing my answer was impressive. A pilot, it was not the typical answer from a thirteen-year-old girl.
“Women don’t fly,” he said matter-of-factly.With his reply, he introduced me to the reality of sex-discrimination. His callous, male-chauvinistic answer burned my young pride like hot lava. I was incredulous that this man doubted my abilities solely because I was female. From that point on, I became even more determined to learn how to fly, if for no other reason than to prove this teacher wrong.
I took ground school the summer between my junior and senior years of high school, a first step in the process of flight training. However, I made little headway during the school year. I was a typical teenage girl consumed with make-up, malls, music and friends. My dad encouraged me to take lessons on the weekends, but I never did. I let teenage concerns crowd out my personal goals. Only in retrospect do I see all the time wasted, especially in pursuit of fleeting trends and egocentric boys.
The summer before I moved away to college, I was ready to take to the air. I had been grounded long enough; I wanted to focus my attention on things that mattered, loftier pursuits. I went to the local municipal airport and inquired about lessons. The man who helped me had faint acne scars, unruly blond hair and a skeptical eye. As I talked, he chuckled to himself. Confused by his demeanor, I looked to see if I had unknowingly spilled food on my shirt.
“Why is he laughing?” I wondered. I felt self-conscious and small. I should have realized this man might have been threatened by me, his cavalier tone an attempt to disguise his own insecurities. At the time though, the interaction left me flustered. My cheeks flushed crimson as I was reminded of the encounter with my middle school teacher years before. I added another man to my list of naysayers and then scheduled my first lesson.My instructor, Joe had a shock of dark hair, kind eyes and a passion for flying. He wore the short sleeve shirt and tie attire of a door-to door salesperson, but had the confident air of an operating room physician. I liked him instantly. From day one, Joe welcomed the challenge of teaching me to fly; he was patient, thorough, and reassuring. I met him for two or three lessons per week. We spent the beginning and end of every lesson in a classroom type setting, reviewing terms, charts, equipment and the like. I devoured the information like a kid with a chocolate chip cookie. I wanted to know as much as possible, fast.
We also spent part of every lesson in the air, or at least trying to get there.
“Why don’t you go ahead and radio ground control for permission to taxi,” Joe said on our third lesson.
“Uhhh, what do I say again?” I stuttered as beads of perspiration seeped from every pore. My fear of making a mistake over the radios was paralyzing, if I messed up everyone would hear me, not just Joe. Once I stammered through a request to ground control and was granted permission to taxi, I made my way to the runway. What a sight this must have been! Since airplanes have foot pedals for directional control, learning to steer the plane on the ground was foreign and awkward. Being a vertically challenged teen, I pulled the airplane seat forward as far as possible and had to sit on two cushions to be able to see. I was inches from the instrument panel, my head barely peeking up over the glare shield. With my body stretched like an elastic waistband on maternity pants, my feet still barely reached the pedals. As I started to roll, I would apply too much right pressure and then hastily overcorrect, jerking the plane side to side in a desperate attempt to avoid contact with parked planes. Until I honed my skills, getting to the runway was slow going and downright embarrassing. As I taxied, people would stop to stare. Perhaps they had never seen an airplane break dance, but I suspect many were more than tempted to call the authorities.Take-off confirmed the suspicions of on-lookers that they should have phoned the police. Rolling at full power, I tried frantically to keep the plane on the center of the runway, my feet moving faster than Riverdance, but to no avail. Inevitably, the plane would veer sideways, headed into the weeds. Joe, apparently quite comfortable with near death experiences, always waited until the last possible moment to take the controls, thus avoiding disaster. Eventually airborne and climbing, the plane would wobble side to side in a tentative dance with the sky. On climb-out after the first few take-offs, my legs shook uncontrollably, like Jell-O in an earthquake. I stared down at them with a mixture of surprise and embarrassment.
“Whose legs are those?” I wondered, realizing I was more nervous than I thought.During airtime, we practiced basic maneuvers, such as climbing, maintaining altitude, touch and go landings, as well as turns, stalls and recovery from spins. At first, my moves were hesitant and unsure, but the little plane was a steadfast partner, the aluminum frame hardy and forgiving. As time passed, I gained skill in the cockpit. With this skill, I also gained something more: I gained confidence in myself. I liked this self-assurance; sweeter than anything I had tasted, it was liberating, encouraging and hard won. I knew that no teenage popularity contest could ever give me this. I would never be the same. This self-reliance and skill I gained had a spillover effect. Soon people stopped staring at the break dancing airplane, and stopped to notice the pilot. Me. And I sat prouder and taller in that airplane seat. (Or as much as possible without the aid of more cushions and a phonebook.) I no longer minded having an audience. How many other teenage girls were doing what I was? I was learning to fly and getting better at it everyday.
The morning of my solo flight Joe went on a check ride with me before my unaccompanied debut. I needed to perform three satisfactory touch and go landings before I was cleared to fly by myself. My legs twitched, this time in nervous anticipation, rather than fear. I was ready. Ready to take to the skies alone; ready for all the world could throw my way.
My first landing went perfectly, my approach straight and steady, the wheels hitting the pavement softly, like a car tires on a speed bump.
“One down,” I said to Joe smiling as I applied full power and lifted to the skies once more. I flew around the pattern again. My second attempt was not pretty. I brought the plane down much too quickly, hitting the runway with such force the little craft bounced back into the air.
“Full power! Full power!” boomed Joe. I could hear the urgency in his voice,
and knew from practice I needed to gain altitude again quickly to avoid a stall. Shaken, I then bounced my third attempt.
“I was ready for anything, just not that,” I muttered. “Please, please, please let me land the next two safely,” I pleaded with the universe.The universe must have been listening. My fourth and fifth attempts went well and I taxied in to let Joe out of the plane. Once he climbed out of the aircraft, the cockpit felt foreign and scary. I stared at the empty passenger seat. Nobody was there to help me. I was on my own. I took several deep gulps of air in an attempt to swallow the panic that climbed my throat like a swarm of butterflies.
“Well, this is it,” I said to myself. “This is the moment of truth, my chance to prove to all the doubters that I am capable, that I can do what I set my mind to do.” Once again, I spoke to the powers of the universe: “Please let me do my best. To land safely and not to die,” I begged. “I can do this. I can do this,” I whispered like The Little Engine That Could. I then swallowed once more and radioed ground control for permission to taxi.My solo flight went perfect. As I taxied down the black ribbon of runway stretched before out before me, my hand was steady and my legs did not shake. As the plane rose in the sky after take-off, the world behind me dropped away. In fact, I would land to a new world, one abundant with opportunity, for in that short flight I gained a belief in myself I had never possessed before.
As I made my way through the flight routine, I did not bounce my landings. I wouldn’t say I was graceful, my skills still that of a novice; however, the plane was far from herky-jerky. Rather, we were partners, moving to the same music, dancing together in the sky on our first date without a chaperone. That day, I came to a new understanding of the “fight or flight” response. Alone in the cockpit, my adrenaline soared: I was fighting to fly. The surge of energy left me far from sleepy. I was alert, focused, and ready for a challenge. My dad was right. I had no desire to snooze, only a desire to soar.
On the ground again, the butterflies in my stomach no longer climbed my throat, but tickled my insides with flutters of excitement. I bubbled over with pride and accomplishment, wanting yet overcome with the attention lavished on me. My family surrounded me, my mom taking pictures at a world-record pace. Then, from amidst the crowd, I saw Joe coming towards me…with an enormous pair of scissors.
“And where are you going with those?” I wondered. What was this? A strange anti-female ritual? I backed away in an attempt to dissuade him.
“Come over here so I can cut your shirt and record your flight,” Joe said, a huge smile on his face.
My dad nudged me. “Go on, Celeste. It’s tradition.”
With that bit of reassurance, I reluctantly turned to let Joe snip off the back of my shirt. A cool breeze up my back made my face flush red. Not understanding my father’s warning to wear two shirts, I had only worn one. Now, as Joe sheared away my cotton tee, I erupted in a fit of giggles, my elation, newfound confidence, and after-the-fact nervousness a combustible combination.Weeks later, I was practicing touch and go’s when my father had to fly out of town for business. As I was on final approach for my last landing of the day, he radioed the tower.
“Baron 58 Papa Echo ready for takeoff,” came my father’s voice over the frequency.
The air-traffic controller radioed back, “Hold short of the runway, Papa Echo, we have a Cessna 172 on a short one mile final.”
That was me! I was on final! “Hi, Dad,” I blurted over the radio.
I could hear the surprise in my dad’s voice when he replied, “Hi Celeste.”
The air traffic controller jumped in on the action. “She’s doing great,” he told my father. I beamed. It was a moment I will never forget. As my little plane descended, I could see my father’s aircraft holding on the left side of the runway. Now was my chance to impress. As my father looked on, I guided the little Cessna to the ground. Then, as I taxied off, my father pulled onto the runway and took to the skies behind me.Learning to fly was a foundation for further growth in my life. With my newfound confidence, I was more apt to embrace challenge and risk, creating opportunities that propelled me upward toward new goals, cementing my self-confidence. I believe we create the life we live, by our choices and by the risks we take; whether we walk or whether we soar, we determine our own fate. With my decision to pilot a plane, to persevere despite the risk, despite the doubters, and despite my own hesitations, I turned a corner in my life and I have never been the same.
The most important things I have done in life are the tasks women do everyday: nurturing my family, laughing with my daughter, supporting my friends. Flying solo was not the most important thing, but a defining moment. It was a time when I set a goal, faced a fear, and rose to a challenge. Today, I am a stronger woman for it. I believe every woman should have a goal or a dream. Women are so strong, yet much of our potential goes undiscovered because we fear the unknown or hesitate to step out of our comfort zone. Learning to fly was such a step for me. Since then, I have taken other steps and I am still walking, still growing, and loving life all the more for it.